We had symmetry, chemistry, all the things I wanted us to be.
You made me smile like a child, the first moment I met you, embraced you, my heart raced with you.
I remember the good days, the days you’d punch my shoulder, push me over, when we laughed and laughed. Then I stood, trying to look good, but I lost balance, one of my many talents, and you just smiled. So did I.
I even remember the time you cried, when you tried to hide that heart of yours, but I listened to you, every word, so you would be heard, and you always, always were.
And when my tears came, you wiped away my shame. You were there for me, and I was there for you.
Not a day would pass without our usual sass, we were us, all of us, together in almost every single endeavor.
But now we’re older, growing farther, tumbling harder into these lives of ours.
I used to see you more, listen to you more, carry you more, feel you more, but now I’m losing you, even though I’m always, always choosing you.
But some days it’s too hard to choose – I never want to abuse you, accuse you, as I fester in my hurt, sitting on the outskirts of your life.
I’m floating farther, feeling your departure, when all I can do is harbor our memories, and be lost in reveries.
I know I can’t beg you to stay, to prevent the decay, but our kinship, our friendship, is falling away.
And I hurt, and hurt, even when you reassert my smile in the small moments I have with you.
But your smile makes me hurt worse, as you put my mind in reverse, to the times when we were once so immersed in each other.
I guess I wasn’t enough, that we weren’t enough, as time continues to snuff us out, snuff me out.
But you continue to smile, even when it’s been a while, and inside, I’m broken.
I try to smile too, to do everything I can for you, but then I see your eyes falter when I have nothing left to offer, nothing left you want or need, I feel myself recede.
Back into the hole in my heart, I’m falling apart, but there’s nothing I can do.
I’m losing you.